Diarrhea in a freighter?

[ParrotheadPilot]

Back in the private pilot days, I was flying my long cross country for the commercial license in a Warrior. I had to pee so bad, you know the kind where it really hurts to even move. So I finally land and completely ignored the line guy who was coming out to park me. Prop was stopped before the airplane was, grabbed the parking brake and flew inside to the pisser ignoring anyone who greeted me along the way.

I am fortunate enough not to have the pleasure of droppin a deuce in the airplane.

 

[TrafficInSight]

Have since reverted to the Gatorade bottle for future excursions

Haha. A friend of mine was doing his long Xcountry for his commercial and 45 minutes out from Bend Oregon he had to pee so bad all he saw was yellow. And what did he have? gatorade!

He was telling me how nice the FBO was and how a lineboy was there to meet him when he pulled up in his crappy warrior to see if he needed anything. He said he hid the bottle so he could go throw it away at the FBO.

I told him he should have given the bottle to the lineboy and told him, "Go empty the lav for me, there's a good lad"

I would pay money to see that

 

[Mugs]

I heard a great story about a 727 passenger crew with a first officer that had been dry blasting his stench for a couple of days, going "Whooopppeee!" after each volley. The Captain had apparently had enough and decided it was time to show this guy who was in charge. During taxi out, his moment of opportunity came to devistate his adversary. After raising his right cheek off of his seat, the Captain commenced a long and deadly blast which would have been audible to all even down low at 350 KIAS in the 727. At this point, however, the revenge plot fell victim to an unfortunate failure of the Captain's primary check valve. The Captain and his crew, with the highest level of professionalism, completed the taxi out and takeoff in spite of the gut rot left festering in the Captain's crusties. Shortly after liftoff, acceleration and clean up, another clean up was attempted as the Captain left his chair for the forward lav. However, the attempt to bury the heavily soiled hazmat deep in the trash bin instead of perhaps attempting to flush it away proved to be a mistake. For the unsuspecting innocent first class passengers, it gave them all the evidence they needed to believe that first class was never what it used to be.....

 

[minitour]

...After raising his right cheek off of his seat, the Captain commenced a long and deadly blast which would have been audible to all even down low at 350 KIAS in the 727. At this point, however, the revenge plot fell victim to an unfortunate failure of the Captain's primary check valve...

I believe the technical term there would be, "he sharted"

-mini

 

[Vik]

I sharted earlier this year. My g/f was on top of me and things were getting hot and heavy .. and the pressure was making me want to let one rip .. so I tried to squeeze my cheeks so that it wouldn't make a sound .. and splat! I felt a little wet.

Made some excuse and ran to the can .. and I had .. SHARTED.

A few years ago while doing my long solo x-c for the commercial, I tried to semi-standup in a 172RG and pee. No autopilot, and turbulence. Oh man .. only emptied enough to not explode. Landed and ran to the can and literally peed for 2 minutes straight.

Earlier this year .. flying from Florida to Calif .. luckily took a juice bottle. Phew! I think I've got the smallest bladder ever.

I've almost had the runs however they occured while I was preflighting.

 

[CE402]

QUOTE from Vik: "I sharted earlier this year."

First rule of firearms safety: Unless you are fully prepared for the consequences, never squeeze the trigger if there's a round in the chamber.

 

[snowman]

SHARTED!! HAR HAR HAR HAR HAR.... ooops, I sha.... never mind

 

[Daveman]

QUOTE from Vik: "I sharted earlier this year."

First rule of firearms safety: Unless you are fully prepared for the consequences, never squeeze the trigger if there's a round in the chamber.

Amen! There's another old "hippie" saying; "Never trust a fart over thirty".

Some funny "sh!t" on this thread.

 

[Clyde]

I'll second the immodium ad, works wonders

I'll third the immodium ad, works a little too good. Couldn't take a dump for a week!!

To address the original question, it was in a lav in a freighter. Many trips, one leg.

 

[F16TJ]

Happiness is a dry fart!