Blunt/Embarrassing question re: medicals

[Way2Broke]

You guys are going to the wrong doctor. Or at least have him come into the 21st century!!

My Doctor has a new machine that he uses for the finger wave so he does not have to physcially do it himself. It's some sort of new machine that the FDA lets him test, but he is not allowed to show it to anyone. I guess it needs a lot of stabilization, because he has to put both his hands on my shoulders when he is using it, and he holds it down with his weight I guess, because he has to grunt the whole time it is in use. It's weird, cause he breathes hard and heavy but his says he does not mind having to do all of that in order to check me out, and I appreciate the doc looking out for me. What's really nice, is that after the machine is done, it shoots some sort of hot liquid into your rectum in order to let you know it is done and to give your colon a good cleaning out. I guess that is when the machine really gets going, cause the doc grabs my shoulders real tight so the machine says straight and he has to grunt and moan really loud. Glad to knwo the Doc has all this new technology in order to look out for a guy like me.

Anyone need his name or #?

That was interesting reading. You should try to lay off the crack pipe.

 

[Coool Hand Luke]

I don't go to an AME for health care. I go to an AME for a little piece of paper that says I may continue to make a living.

For health care I see a doctor.

I don't have anything to hide, but there is nothing to be gained from confusing the two, and much to be lost.

AMEN to that brother!

 

[mhcasey]

You guys are going to the wrong doctor. Or at least have him come into the 21st century!!

My Doctor has a new machine that he uses for the finger wave so he does not have to physcially do it himself. It's some sort of new machine that the FDA lets him test, but he is not allowed to show it to anyone. I guess it needs a lot of stabilization, because he has to put both his hands on my shoulders when he is using it, and he holds it down with his weight I guess, because he has to grunt the whole time it is in use. It's weird, cause he breathes hard and heavy but his says he does not mind having to do all of that in order to check me out, and I appreciate the doc looking out for me. What's really nice, is that after the machine is done, it shoots some sort of hot liquid into your rectum in order to let you know it is done and to give your colon a good cleaning out. I guess that is when the machine really gets going, cause the doc grabs my shoulders real tight so the machine says straight and he has to grunt and moan really loud. Glad to knwo the Doc has all this new technology in order to look out for a guy like me.

Anyone need his name or #?

I sincerely hope that was a joke that you heard from a friend, and not a scenario straight from the imagination...

Regardless, that was hilarious.

 

[mar]

The rest of the story?

I know a pilot who had prostrate cancer discovered by the figure wave. A node on the gland, it was removed early and he went back to his career at a legacy airline.

...where he subsequently slashed his wrists.

 

[AKAAB]

From a med site. For those who wonder.

Why does the doctor ask you to "turn your head and cough", you ask? So that he can test you for a hernia. But that's the simple answer. The harder answer is in two parts.
Part One: Why the cough?
When you cough, a vibration will run down your spine. Based on how this vibration gets transmitted down to the base of your spine, which is what the doctor is touching underneath your testicles, will indicate whether or not you have a herniated disc in your spine.
Part Two: Why must I turn my head?
I've heard two explanations for this. One is that the twisting of your neck will tighten up your spine and improve the accuracy of the doctor's diagnosis. I call this the practical explanation. I've also heard a more utilitarian explanation: do you think the doctor really needs you to cough on him? No, thus you are asked to turn away from him before coughing.

Total bunk! The cough increases intra-abdominal pressure and will cause the herniated abdominal lining to protrude through the inguinal canal if it is an indirect inguinal hernia - which is what he is checking for. There is no connection between coughing and any spinal abnormalities. I don't know where this stuff comes from and I can't believe anyone would be so gullible as to believe it.

As for the PSA, it is one tool, but not the best in determining whether there are any tumors or undue swelling of the prostate. The gold standard is still digital palpation. It is entirely possible to have benign prostate hypertrophy that would go undiagnosed without the exam. No, you don't need it every six months or every year, but after you are 40, you should have it done at least every five years if you are symptom free. More often if you have any urinary symptoms. Why does this matter to pilots? Well, I had a friend become suddenly unable to pass urine and he required catherization when he got to the ER. He died about a year later from cancer that started in his prostate.

Most prostate cancers go undetected due to squeamish men afraid of something much smaller than a normal bowel movement. Stop being embarassed and get it over with. Skip it if you are single, have no family that loves you, and are senior to me.

 

[pilotyip]

AK, great post, a nice touch of reality we seldom see on this pilot board

 

[banned username 1]

AK, great post, a nice touch of reality we seldom see on this pilot board

Absolutely. Fellows, although we might not like the procedure, when we get to be a certain age, it's imperative that we have it done- and no, your significant other doesn't count!

Statistically, prostate cancer is one thing that is going to happen to a large percentage of us males, and the digital check is one of the few things which we can do that has been shown to help in early detection- and successful intervention which means a longer life for the patient.

That being said, during my last check, I requested that my doc please remove his ring as it was irritating. He told me that wasn't his ring, that was his wristwatch. Hmmmmm.......?

 

[Traderd]

Total bunk! The cough increases intra-abdominal pressure and will cause the herniated abdominal lining to protrude through the inguinal canal if it is an indirect inguinal hernia - which is what he is checking for. There is no connection between coughing and any spinal abnormalities. I don't know where this stuff comes from and I can't believe anyone would be so gullible as to believe it.

As for the PSA, it is one tool, but not the best in determining whether there are any tumors or undue swelling of the prostate. The gold standard is still digital palpation. It is entirely possible to have benign prostate hypertrophy that would go undiagnosed without the exam. No, you don't need it every six months or every year, but after you are 40, you should have it done at least every five years if you are symptom free. More often if you have any urinary symptoms. Why does this matter to pilots? Well, I had a friend become suddenly unable to pass urine and he required catherization when he got to the ER. He died about a year later from cancer that started in his prostate.

Most prostate cancers go undetected due to squeamish men afraid of something much smaller than a normal bowel movement. Stop being embarassed and get it over with. Skip it if you are single, have no family that loves you, and are senior to me.

Good information. I have had a DR exam at least once a year since I was 30. Can't say I enjoyed them (not that there's anything wrong with that) but I always felt bad for the guy giving the exam. I mean, I would have more trouble giving than receiving. And it is a procedure that proves the axiom "size doesn't matter". Big finger with good technique; no problem. Small finger on a shaky 70 year old; big problem. There's no gold in there doc, so please stop digging.

I asked a flight surgeon once how they trained to do the exam. He said they had paid subjects at his med school. Guy came in, laid down on a Gurney with his rectum elevated and read a paper whilst 20 or so students took their turn figuring out how a healthy prostate feels to the touch.

And you think your job sucks.

As to the original question concerning having your backside observed, when I went into the Army, I found myself at a MEPS (correct initialism?) station getting the entrance physical. I was told to stand in a cirlce with about six other guys with our backs to each other. We were told to drop our pants, bend over and spread 'em. A doctor was in the center of the circle "looking". For what I don't know but I remember he asked one guy, "How long have you had THAT?".

And this was a medical doctor. And you think your job sucks.

But as he said, suck it up. You'll probably be glad you did when you hit my age.

 

[pilotyip]

UAl how that is funny, his wrist watch

 

[Dirty Sanchez]

You should ask your doc for a second opinion (index and middle finger)...