Stupidest Aviation Question You Ever Got Asked/Heard

[Kream926]

I heard this one from one of our new students: "Doesn't the guy doing the ATIS get tired of saying the same thing over and over for a whole hour?"

-Goose

ahhhhhh haaaaa

we did a tour of TUL tower in my ATC ops class and some retard asked where the atis guy was....maybe the same kid

 

[ventus]

I like the engine falling off part, I have wondered about this before, I dont really mean to make another stupidest question ever, but say for some reason the engine did "fall off" on a piston single, would that throw your CG to far out to still be able to land?

...The pilot reported that he then realized that the engine had come off the airplane, but he was still able to maintain the nose down attitude and keep his speed up. The pilot further reported that he then attempted to move the elevator and rudder enough to see if they were responsive, which they were....

Full NTSB report at http://www.ntsb.gov/ntsb/brief.asp?ev_id=20040526X00672&key=1

 

[Swede]

My memory fails me... too many stupid questions over the years.

"Wow, look at all those buttons! (looking at vast CB bank) Do you know what they all do?" "Yup every single one. This one jettisons the right engine. This one injects knockout gas into the cabin in case of a terrorist attck. Etc"

Return leg of an all nighter. CP crew looking like death warmed-over, gulping gallons of coffee just to maintain consciousness. "Do you guys like the night shift? I know what it's like, because I work nights too." If they only knew.

More of a smart-a$$ comment than a question. We're running late, trying to connect to another aircraft which has been boarded. First class is full, of course, with pompous business men who MUST be at a billion-dollar meeting in 3 hours. Triple scotches all-around. One of them will inevitably shout "NICE OF YOU TO SHOW UP FOR WORK!!!" A-hole. If your meeting was that important, you should have been there yesterday.

Flying into New York... "What ocean is that?"

Flying into Chicago... "What ocean is that?"

They come from Flight attendants too. Moments after the Captain makes a PA announcing all pertinent data, <DING> <DING> "How much longer?" 5 minutes later "How much longer?" etc etc

 

[Crizz]

"So... when can you fly by yourself?"

 

[dayshift]

In ground school the instructor was explaining how a thundercloud holds over a million pounds of water, a student questioned, "well, how can it float?", classic look on the instructors face.

 

[EagleRJ]

An AMERICAN AIRLINES FIRST OFFICER looking over the flight release:

"I wonder what BRAF means? Maybe the Air Force is doing training at KXXX"



Passenger after climbing into the Saab and walking right past the 11-foot diameter carbon fiber propeller:

"Is this a jet?"



One of my students during his Private training:

"Can we buzz the tower, like in Top Gun?"

No, I didn't add an exclusion to his solo endorsement- I probably should have. His first solos were a little more nerve-wracking than most.

 

[TWA Dude]

At a family gathering, after informing my aunt of my decision to pursue a career in aviation, she responded, "So I guess your four years of college is going to waste?" The truly funny part is that it was a good question.

 

[MTpilot]

I am a Commercial pilot, it says so on my ticket!

Me: I'm a flight instructor.

Them: Why aren't you a commercial pilot?

Them: Why don't you fly for the airlines?

Them: Can you fly at night?

Them: Can you fly me to Cleveland?

Them: When will you get your jet rating?

 

[jetexas]

"When are you gonna get to fly the 'real' airplanes?"
"Is this a jet, or just a plane?"
"You must make a fabulous salary?" (grrrr)

 

[Brokepilot]

A buddy of mine had his prop fall off while in flight.

Anyways, funniest/ saddest over the radio " UHH Mooney XXXX are you going to put your gear down..... never mind."