Someone breaking into your cockpit...

[Smoking Man]

I would not hesitate for one second to end the person/s life. I would have to AXE them a question.


United Flight 93

American Flight 11

United Flight 175

American Flight 77


Good Tailwinds

 

[avbug]

Politely explain that the jump seat is full, and request that they return to their seat.

This should almost certainly work, but if not, quickly fall back to plan B. This involves the posting of several large centerfolds taped together, and attached to the rosen sun visors. In the event that the person breaching the cockpit is a young arab muslim male extremist (highly unlikely, as INS would never approve a visa for a terrorist, would they?), the picture will blind them, force them to turn away. (and distract the copilot too, so he doesn't get in the way).

If this fails to do the trick, fall back to plan C. Quickly coat each intruder with chicken grease, fish guts, and a small can of friskies salmon and tuna sliced kitty meal. This should force the intruder to return to the lav where valueable time will be wasted attempting in shear futility to remove the chicken grease from their clothes.

If this fails in practice, fall back to plan D. Open a small specially constructed door at the rear of the cabin to release a large grizzely bear. The bear will smell the fish and chicken, and eat the intruder. The bear, the satisfied, will roam the cabin harmlessly, providing comfort to potentially distraught passengers,and serving as an added deterrent to anyone else considering not remaining in their seat.

If this doesn't work, go to plan E. Shoot the bear.

Precisely the reason we need to arm cockpit crews.

 

[s.o.sJTB]

Lets stop bashing Islam on the sake of a couple thousand queda schmucks, and put it in real perspective. Anybody that tries to get in my cockpit is in real trouble. Lets face it Airline crews were trained differently last year, theres a reason those crews gave up the flight deck to the the terrorists holding BOX CUTTERS!!!!. all crews know now that is never going to happen again. The TSA can hassel passengers all they want, make travel inconveinient for our "bread and butter" but flight 93 proved that it will never happen again. They found a weakness and exploited it, Airliners are now secure, flight crews and passengers are going to react differently, the way we are reacting to everything is exactly what alqueda wanted..... to change our way of life.

I'm not going to get suckered into there game!

 

[banned username 2]

What if there are two or more of them charging in? Case in point... UAL 93.

Put on the seatbelt sign and tell everyone to sit down.... Then start a very rapid series of negative and positive G's.... toss these rag heads around the cabin like rag dolls, after they were knocked around pretty good, take the seatbelt sign off and encourage all passengers to beat the living sh!t out of these guys and don't stop until they are nothing more than a stain on the carpet...

 

[sdpilot]

I'd throw down my cafe mocca, toss my Wall Street Journal aside
grab the side stick and YELL.....

HANG ON BABY, IT'S ROLLER COASTER TIME!!!!!

Then see how many times it takes them hittting the floor and ceiling in rapid succession before they're knocked cold ("the pinball effect")

 

[Cornelius]

I'm lucky most of my passengers are from Wyoming. Can anybody say, "You got a purty mouth", and "SQUEEEEEEEAL like a pig". Those Al Queda bastards wouldn't last one second with the country boys.

 

[pilot141]

Yikes, sdpilot!

sdpilot, since you said

"grab the sidestick", I assume you fly an Airbus.

If you are willing to ops check the structural integrity of an Airbus, my hat is off to you. Also my tail, my engines, and anything else hanging out in the wind.

On a serious note about maneuvering to stop hijackers, I would consider it only as an absolute last resort, eg the hijacker is in the cockpit with his arms around the throat of the other pilot. As many people have mentioned the pax are going to be a huge resource now, and if someone is attacking the door, your maneuvering may hurt the good-Samaritan pax and end up helping the hijackers. Or Bruce the F/A may just be winding up to brain a hijacker with a bottle of Chardonnay when you lay on the G's. Unless you know FOR SURE that maneuvering will help the situation, it's not worth it.

Better to have the strongest (usually the most junior, right?) person waiting by the door with the crash axe, flashlight, bad breath, and lots of adrenaline. Soon, though, you will have the awesome equalizing power of a gun at your disposal.

Use the maneuvering if you have to, but I would not use it lightly.

 

[Freight Dog]

If two or more hijackers rushed the cockpit - do you honestly think you could successfully defend it? UAL 93 crew was unarmed, put up a fight and couldn't fend them off.

I want that door bullet-proof and I want guns!

 

[avbug]

Big bag of marbles; the cheap cat's eyes. Toss them on the floor. Hang fly paper just inside the cockpit door. Those little thin tapes you pull from the rolled up cardboard tubes to hang inside the tack room in the barn. A little crisco on the door handle before you lock it up to start the trip. Set a rub just inside the door and put a whoopee cushion under it...nobody will pass that without being both embarassed and highly distracted.

Then while the intruder is distracted, double tap two 230 grain hardball rounds to his center mass.

After that, it's just a matter of explaining to little Jimmy's mother why you popped him, when all he wanted was to come forward and listen to some more of your gladiator stories. Too bad...if little Jimmy had just been a hair taller, he wouldn't have got hit in the HEAD...

 

[ShawnC]

Ok we all know that the B707 and the LJ23 both roll "real nice" so how well, would your speculate, does an aircraft like the A320 or the B757 roll? Assumming that it is a true alerion roll with no unnessary G-load.