"Go Purple Onion"

[GVFlyer]

... much like the Tomcat. Zing! (And I woulda loved the chance to fly it)

I dunno - peeing blood isn't near as much fun as it used to be...


GV

 

[SIG600]

That one's over my head....

 

[Eagleflip]

I don't know about the origination of "Purple Onion," but I can tell you second hand the story from the first Gulf War. If you need verification, ask JethroF15...he wuz there.

The 53rd Nato Tiger Squadron (TIGER TIGER TIGER....ROAR!) had deployed to Al Kharj AB in mid-Saudi, 60 nm south of Ryadh and close to Hell. Well, you couldn't quite see Hell, but you knew it was there.

During the deployment, the commander, a Lt Col Big's Bigum, had a habit of using the term "Purple Onion" to describe any maneuver, action or otherwise task that didn't have a name. "Ok, guys, tomorrow am at oh-dark thirty we'll get our asses up and head to the chow tent, then Purple Onion to the ops town to brief." It became part of the squadron vernacular, apparently.

One day at lunch, our intrepid Eagle drivers saw an abandoned brick...Brick, to you and the uninitiated, is a large hand held FM radio that all of the big wigs use. Huge (like their namesake) and unweildy, they are easily lost.

The Tigers found it. And, during their innocent and protracted glee at having found such a useless device, they decided to call none other than Raymond 6, the Command Post.

Now the Command Post is normally inhabited by gnomes who have no eyes and common sense, knowing only to pursue the truth through that second most useless item in an office-type environment, the checklist.

Our Tiger pilots called in their most professional voice over the radio, "Raymond 6, Raymond 6, this is Viceroy. Execute Purple Onion. I repeat, execute Purple Onion."

After about four seconds came the reply. "Raymond 6, roger sir. Executing Purple Onion."

Silence gripped the airwaves. No one dared to speak. They would interrupt perhaps the most difficult checklist ever known to the War, specifically the Purple Onion checklist.

The one that didn't exist. Neither did Viceroy, for that matter, but this didn't matter.

So, after a few guffaws, a dog pile (a generous helping of soft served ice cream) and general mockery of the Air Force in specific, our band of roving air monkeys decided to quell their treachery.

"Raymond 6, this is Viceroy. Cancel Purple Onion, I repeat cancel Purple onion."

They then left the brick where they had found it and went on their merry way, ignorant of the havoc they had created within the Command Post.

Evidently, having not found the Purple Onion checklist, the Command Post contacted every O-6 on the base and proceeded to alert them to the Purple Onion. Who knows what else went on, but the next day Bigs saw the boys in the Ops room.

"HOLY JEBUS, GUYS!" said Bigs, violently shaking his head, "Whoever did that Purple Onion thing knock it off! The General chewed our ass this morning at Stand Up (the daily how goes it meeting) about it. The Command Post went ape ******************** yesterday when that was called in!"

Ah, what bored pilots will do...

 

[TankerDriver]

Now the Command Post is normally inhabited by nomes who have no eyes and common sense, knowing only to pursue the truth through that second most useless item in an office-type environment, the checklist.

:laugh:

What's the first most useless item?

Great story. BTW, what happened to THAT Air Force?

 

[KCPilot]

I do miss it!

 

[Huggyu2]

God bless ya, EagleFlip!! Thanks for sharing that. That's the kind of stuff that the USAF historians SHOULD be recording.....

 

[SoundBarViolatr]

Ughhh...TACC...Commode Post...I miss the old Air Force. Whatever happened to the days when Min Crew Rest was a 4 letter word?? Either way, the experiences in the military is defintely unparalleled. Jeez, just the story behind a patch design was always a good nuf cause to crack a brain grenade.

A USAFR C5 FE/Corporate Jet Driver
(OMG its an enlisted guy up front!)

 

[Gorilla]

Great story Eagleflip. Purple Onion sounded to me, at the beginning of this thread, like some type of secret mode that would best be left unexplored in this media.

We had squadron-invented execution terms for a huge number of operational maneuvers. Getting aircraft to the merge against a BVR threat can be tough... thus maneuvers like the Chernobyl glower, Stack 'n' Rack, and the grandaddy of them all, the Polish heart attack.

 

[tomgoodman]

Military words

Besides code words and phrases, the military has come up with some great acronyms. My favorite was printed under an admiral's picture at NAS Roosevelt Roads, identifying him as FASOTRAGRULANT. What a title!!

 

[AdlerDriver]

Nice story Flip - I was at "the Bush" during the same time. We pulled the "Purple Onion" on the command post back in Germany too.

Too bad though, I was going to see how long we could string Hold West along thinking PO was something real. I think we had him going for a while.

No - I'm SURE he knew all along. :laugh: