Funny Stuff Heard on the Freq

[BornAgainPagan]

What are some of the funniest things you've heard of the freq.


One center controllers calmly and nonchalantly said; "Southwest XXX, to avoid a collision, turn right heading 3-2-0"

Last X-mas season, as expected. there were lots of "Merry Christmas's" and "Happy Holidays" on the freq. In the spirit of Seinfeld, one pilot wished a controller "Happy Festivus"

You kind of had to be there.

 

[urflyingme?!]

"Happy Festivus"

You kind of had to be there.

HAHAHA
I have my on festivus pole back home.

The two out of ordinary things i've heard were the score to the NBA finals being given out evry 5 minutes by center, and my buddy had a hot mike on our flight school freq. and was cusing his instructor after an unusal attitude. new nickname--"pottymouth" even the chirf instructor heard it was great!

 

[minitour]

I was pre-solo working the pattern (obviously with instructor) and a KC135 just happened to be there too...so tower says to him..

"Steel XX, do you see the Cessna mid field for 23?"
"Afirm..."
"Good, after your missed approach, miss him, fly 140, maintain....."

all I thought was "miss him? uh......"

 

[jackotron]

On a dual flight in MTJ the instructor told the student exactly what he needed to say when he was calling 10 miles out:

Warrior X-X-X-X-V is 10 miles northwest of the field decending through eight thousand six hundred feet. Planning a left downwind entry for 3-1. Full-stop. Montrose.
​

The student quickly keyed the mic:

Warrior X-X-X-X-V is.....uhh....eight thousand...uhhh...10 miles...Montrose?
​

The student released the mic and then keyed it again:

Warrior X-X-X-X-V is lost.

​

 

[Jedi_Cheese]

While in the flare over the runway: "Cessna 12345, you are no longer cleared for the option, make this one a touch and go. No need to readback."

Or it's a slow night response by tower:
"Cessna 12345, your transmission was static but whatever you wanted it's approved."

 

[Flywrite]

This afternoon while working Memphis Center the controller advised a VFR guy in a climb that there was VFR traffic 12 o'clock 4 miles a thousand above him. Another advisory a minute later put the traffic about two miles ahead, 500 above. The controller asks if the guy has the traffic in sight. He replies "negative", so the controller asks "So are you just planning on flying into him?"

 

[sqwkvfr]

HAHAHA
I have my on festivus pole back home.

I threw my knee out during the "feats of strength."

 

[Loafman]

Yo. Clevey Centa'. It's Jetlink 6-4-3 Keepin' it Real at two-five-oh.

 

[AA717driver]

I heard center call a TWA aircraft and tell him to make a turn for traffic and make it tight. He replied "roger, TWA 123" and as he said it, he made his voice sound like he was grunting as he loaded up with g's. The controller just laughed.TC

 

[mattpilot]

Thief!!!! Thiiiieeeef!!!!! Someone Stop Him! Loafman Stole My Boobies