Calming down the nerves?

[adam_jorgensen]

Ok, so know that people know a little more about my situation with what I'm going to do with my life, there's another thing that really bothers me.

I really love flying and I know that is what I want to do for the rest of my life but I am still a little apprehensive about getting into that cockpit and doing another lesson. I'm just always afraid that I'm going to do something wrong and piss off my instructor, not so much crashing, but just that. I'm a real people pleaser and I don't like to disappoint people. I'm at 14.5 hours of flight training and I still get nervous especially on the ground. Not so much in the air, but just around the airport and on the ground. I just can't seem to get the feel for those individual breaks on the Cessna 152. I really hate this about my self. I wish I would just relax and have fun but its hard to do that when I can't relax. Some days, I'm more relaxed and do really well but most days, I'm nervous and I do bad. I was so jumpy yesterday that my instructor was saying something not even flight related and I literally jumped out of my seat because I got so startled. I felt really stupid after that and imagined my self punching my self. Why can't I just relax? I hope this won't interfere with my passion for flying because allot of times, I actually am relieved when we arrive on the ground! I hate that! I want to be disappointed that were on the ground but I am just to fearful to feel that way. Does this mean I don't like flying?

I'm almost starting to think I have a sever case of neurosis here. Irritional fears is one of the symptons. I know I dont have this disorder but it almost feels that way.

Forgetting steps is something I really don't want to happen. When I get nervous, my mind blanks out, I freeze like an idiot, and forget what I have to do. I have a really nice instructor and she says I'm doing just fine at my level and are being too hard on my self. While being hard on my self is probably true, I just don't see how I'm doing fine. As long as I'm scared, I think I'm always doing bad.

And how about soloing? Most people have soled at my time by now and this is making me wonder what's wrong with me. I am not ready to solo yet. People think that if you solo at 20 hours, there's something wrong with you. They think that's really late.

Allot of people I have talked to say that this is normal but I don't think so. Usually things I have done this amount of times already I don't get nervous but its a disease that just won't seem to go away. How were all of you when you first started flight training? Did any of you ever get as nervous and unrelaxed as I did?
Allot of you guys here who fly for a career for a major airline, where you ever nervous? I want to make flying my career and hopefully make it to the majors but how will I ever get there if I can't relax this far in? No one will ever want to hire a neurotic like me. I'm having a hard time finding people who can relate to me in this situation. I just want to start enjoying my flying and stop getting so dog out nervous. I wish there was never such a feeling. Its a feeling that really knows how to take the fun and joy out of what you love.

 

[dmspilot00]

I really love flying and I know that is what I want to do for the rest of my life but I am still a little apprehensive about getting into that cockpit and doing another lesson. I'm just always afraid that I'm going to do something wrong and piss off my instructor, not so much crashing, but just that. I'm a real people pleaser and I don't like to disappoint people. I'm at 14.5 hours of flight training and I still get nervous especially on the ground. Not so much in the air, but just around the airport and on the ground. I just can't seem to get the feel for those individual breaks on the Cessna 152.

Do you get nervous or anxious about other things in life? If so, maybe you are just a generally anxious person. However I had a similar experience to yours while learning to fly. Usually my anxiety peaked in car on the way to the airport. The closer to the airport we got, the more nervous I became. It really didn't go away until after I got my private. But even today, if I know I will be doing something new or haven't done in awhile, I still get nervous.

In the air, I became nervous a lot of time while practicing landings. I mentally reminded myself to relax during the approach, and that helped quite a lot. After the first few soloes, it was time for me to learn how to get into and out of a towered airport. The first time, I was so nervous that I had teeth marks on my lip from biting it. After I got through that, next was cross-country work. Another new thing for me to be nervous about. But the more experience I received in each task, the less nervous I was.

It really just takes practice and patience. When do you take your lessons? I learned to fly when I was in high school, and I noticed if I flew after school, I did rather poorly, and if I flew on a weekend, I was more relaxed, and did better.

You can also try taking a break. How often do you fly? Try not flying for a week, but think about it and practice using visualizing. Or, ask your CFI if you can do something else...maybe just fly around and not concentrate on maneuvers for one lesson.

 

[Timebuilder]

Have you tried a hobby that helps you to be calm and confident? I recommend martial arts.

You don't have to be able to do any of the super-human stuff that Bruce Lee used to do, either. Don't like the idea of punching and kicking? Karate might not be for you.

You might prefer Judo. Translated, it means gentle way. Most of what makes it effective is the graceful use of your opponents own mass to take him off his feet, and then to apply a hold to achieve submission, which is not as much a test of strength as it is a matter of correct application of a small amount of force. This art is a derivative of Jiu Jitsu, and it is good for building confidence in the man who is not as tall or strong as the guys on the football team.

The point is, the confidence you build in the dojo is carried with you into everything you do, including the airplane. A reasonable amount of self-confidence is required for success in any endeavor, and being confident is a great stress reliever.

 

[KC-10 Driver]

If you know deep down that you really want to fly, then nothing is wrong with you -- you are certainly not abnormal with your anxiety.

My first powered flight experience was in a USAF T-41 (basically a C-172). I enjoyed almost no part of it. I got about 20 hours of flight time over a couple of months, had the nicest instructor, and I still hated it!

My experience was similar to yours -- I was nervous before every flight, but was generally better once we got in the air.

I almost decided not to go to Air Force pilot training because of that first flight experience, but deep down I knew that I did want to be a pilot. I knew that I wouldn't be able to face myself later in life if I didn't at least give it my best shot.

In formal flight school, I initially experienced the same anxiety, compounded by airsickness. Finally, I learned the trick that did the most to help me to relax and gain confidence.

It sounds really simple, but I realized that I had to visualize an entire flight in my mind, in real time, prior to actually doing it -- usually the night before.

This is called "chair flying".

I would sit in a private place and go through the entire flight at the actual pace that things would happen. If available, tape a cockpit diagram poster on a wall and use it as your "cockpit". I would make all my calls out loud. I would move my hands and feet as I would during the flight.

It may sound silly, but it really works. Chair flying is as important as studying your procedures & systems. It helps you picture what you will do in the flight. It works. I still do it for every flying course I take.

By the way, do not worry about what anyone else thinks, or about what the norm is for time before solo. It doesn't matter. Worry about yourself, and no one else.

Also, you sound like a perfectionist. Don't be too hard on yourself. Everyone makes lots of mistakes when learning how to fly. The key during flight is to forget about anything that goes wrong and just concentrate on what you have to do next. You can't control what has passed. You can worry about your past mistakes when chair flying for your next flight.

And, trust me, your CFI thinks no less of you as a person, as a student, or as a pilot. She has undoubtedly made most of the same mistakes herself.

Timebuilder gave you some great advice, too. Don't spend every waking hour thinking about your next flight. You need a good hobby to take your mind off your anxiety.

In time, your worries will fade, and you will have a great time.

 

[bobbysamd]

Early flight training

Don't worry about "pissing off" the instructors. You really aren't pissing them off, but your performance may be engendering a critique. Don't confuse critique with a pissed-off instructor.

My instructor always told me that flight instruction is an intense-one-on-one relationship. One of the unusual things about learning how to fly is you're paying someone to yell at you. In other words, you're paying someone to constantly critique you. Learning how to fly can be one of the most ego-shattering experiences one can ever know. But, just remember, the instructor isn't yelling at you per se, she is yelling at your performance. You must differentiate between a critique and personal attack.

I remember learning how to fly twenty years ago. I was much older than you. I was 31. My instructor owned his own airplane and it did not have an intercom. He did not have a voice that projected. So, to communicate over the noise, he had to shout. And, when he shouted, it sounded like he was yelling at me. And, when he yelled at me, I thought that he was mad at me. Maybe I heard three words out of ten. And, for this, I was paying $50 per hour? My instructor basically was a very fine man. I didn't pick up on things that quickly all the time (no student does) and maybe he was exasperated. I thought I was the world's worst flight student. But, I came to realize, that he was not attacking me personally. That's what you have to remember.

Now, many instructors are extremely focused and intense. They're on their students constantly to make them do their best. They tolerate zero error. That style doesn't always work. Always give your instructor your best shot. If, somehow, your personalities clash, change instructors. Bear in mind that for a lot of people flight instruction is their first contact with intense, disciplined training. It sounds like your instructor is a nice person. Give her a chance to teach you.

Students are often excited about their first experiences flying, which may translate into apprehension. After your first few flights, you'll see how normal flying really is, and your apprehension should pass.

Finally, you should make sure you are completely prepared for every flight. Your instructor should preview each lesson. Study the maneuvers and procedures you will be working on that day. The maneuvers and procedures in and of themselves may not make sense, but least commit to memory the steps required to execute them. After you try them in flight, they'll make more sense.

Hope all this helps. Once again, good luck with your training.

 

[Checks]

Just remember that your CFI works for you! You are footing the bill.

How do you know you want to work for a major airline with only 14.5hours flight time? Paychart maybe?

 

[Timebuilder]

Bobby and I, along with most of the pilots here, have been on both sides of the instruction fence; both student and teacher. I stumbled across a small but important truth when learning to fly: an airplane is one of the worst places to try and learn anything. So: study, practice mentally, then fly the lesson after a thorough briefing. If you already know what is expected of you, the noise, new sights, and sensations won't be quite as distracting.

Learning to land the airplane is a very gratifying experience. This doesn't happen without creating a whole series of memories that you will never forget. Most of them will seem very comical, but only in retrospect. Don't worry, we've all been there.

This is fun, learing to fly. World peace does not hang in the balance with each flight. Enjoy yourself.

 

[de727ups]

I once new a young man who was the most nervous student I ever had. I flew with him for his advanced ratings and his performance was subpar, in general, but we kept working on it. I nearly sat him down a few times and told he just wasn't gonna make it as a pilot....but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I truely though he'd never make it in the career.

Last I heard he had attained his CFI and was a very active instructor....and has been interviewing at the regionals.

Point is.....you haven't given yourself enough time to tell yourself you aren't cut out to fly. I'd listen to your CFI for feedback and try not to get too worked up about your percieved performance. Also, some airports require more training before you solo. If your training airport is in or near a busy air traffic control enviornment, you'd need more time before I'd let you solo.

Where do you fly out of?

 

[350DRIVER]

Adam-
Don't worry so much about flying to "make" your instructor "happy"- Flying is not normal to someone early on who has never experienced flight before and you being the one who is in control of the aircraft adds to the "unusual" sensation. The more flights and hours that Y O U accumulate then the more comfortable you will become, it really just takes time.... I know many many students a few of them I have trained that felt the same way and questioned themselves just as you have done BUT now they look back and joke about it because how easy it has become for them once they have accumulated the "experience" and "flight time". Let time take it's toll and just be patient about the whole situation and you will see how rapidly things will fall into place for you. Flying is just like driving a car and the more times that you do it the better you will become and one day you will look at flying just as you look at driving a car. It just takes TIME and ALOT of it......

Be patient and MOST of all just R E L A X & have F U N

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[TgrPlt]

There is some very good advice in this thread. However, sometimes its just simpler than all that. I know guys who got and probably still get very tense/nervous during close formation and air refueling. It sounds a bit strange, but some of the advice passed around is to sing to yourself during the flight. For a lot of people just humming a tune or singing to themselves can really help them relax a little and just enjoy the flight.