How many message board members does ...

Timebuilder

Entrepreneur
Joined
Nov 25, 2001
Posts
4,625
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1634
....and one who posts in the lightbulb thread only because he has several hours to wait until his next lightbulb change...
 

eriknorth

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 28, 2002
Posts
148
Total Time
almost
then the person who thinks they know how to change the bulb, but they don't, and it breaks. Now the cycle has to start over again with 33 exta people on the list because they knew how to do it better in the first place and now they're going to prove it, and 4 to clean up the broken lightbulb.
 

Timebuilder

Entrepreneur
Joined
Nov 25, 2001
Posts
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1634
Now you've done it!!

We need a team of 27 specialists from the NLBSB, most of the local bulb inspectors from the FLBA, and a flock of journalists to ask if the bulb breakage was related to light bulb terrorists!
 

RichardFitzwell

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 28, 2001
Posts
347
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7500
...and the dozen or so that post just to see, "their own cool avtars."
 

aero99

just a member, not senior
Joined
Nov 26, 2001
Posts
394
Total Time
10PM
and the 7 that refuse to change light bulbs because they are tired of their company screwing them and lightbulb changing isn't in their contract...

4 more that will state that if the had a gun in the cockpit they could change the bulb safer...

7 others that would change a bulb in a 172 but not in a warrior because the 172 is a "better" airplane to train in....

158 more that are currently changing white bulbs but want to get checked out so the can change red bulbs.....


76 that have been changing red bulbs and dream of the day long ago when all they had to do was change white bulbs with no radio's or electronics....


ok, I'm done...
 

TurboS7

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 25, 2001
Posts
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19,210
and 422 wives that say that when you are taking precious time away from them to write about light ball changes you have gone too far. It will be either them or me....off to London and Crete..see you guys next week. If I need a lightbulb changed enroute I know where to come for advise.I know of a great web cafe downtown......
 

FL000

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 26, 2001
Posts
1,577
Total Time
1500
and the one to remind you that this has been posted before and scold you for not using the search function.
 

cessna_driver2

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 22, 2002
Posts
402
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?
Well it sounds like you sumed up how our government works in a simple question on light bulbs.

Isn't our nation great

:)
 

wildbill

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 26, 2001
Posts
225
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5000
Which one of you comedians is going to pay the light bill to see if the lightbulb really works after you decide who puts it in?
 

avbug

Well-known member
Joined
Dec 14, 2001
Posts
7,602
Total Time
n/a
Light bulb? We don't need no stinking lightbulb.

Some things are better in the dark.

(Pilots, like mushrooms...)
 

LR25

Its just a vintage VW
Joined
Nov 25, 2001
Posts
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And this is where the thread changes to how "unions are screwing with you", or "RJDC", "how to get multi-time", "who's hiring", or "I need info about an Apache".

It will be a good socialogical experiment.

Lets see where it goes.
 

alimaui

Well-known member
Joined
Mar 23, 2002
Posts
207
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150+
Well, perhaps we need a qualified team of LBCs to discuss the ramifications of screwing pilots out of mainline jobs Errr. two small lightbulbs in instead of one large one....


THIS IS NOT FLAME BAIT!!! ONLY FEEBLE ATTEMPT AT HUMOR!!!!


Ali
 

enigma

good ol boy
Joined
Nov 26, 2001
Posts
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Total Time
>1500
Some of ya'll are pretty darn funny. Keep it up.

This could be the funniest string in a long time.

Thanks for the laughs.
 

kilomike

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 26, 2001
Posts
155
Total Time
2800
Great thread!

This thread reminds me of the joke I tell on occasion:

How many pilots does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw in the bulb and the other to read the before, during and after screw in checklists.

Kilomike
 

00Dog

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 27, 2001
Posts
147
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3000
Does anyone know where the "Will Fly For Food" website went?:)
 

Visceral

Can you pickup a trip?
Joined
Dec 8, 2001
Posts
223
Total Time
<enuff
Dear God I can't believe I've actually read through this entire post. :eek: From the looks of it, you have too.
 

waka

Emasculating the Right
Joined
Nov 28, 2001
Posts
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4?
How many Freudians does it take to change a lightbulb?

2

One to change the bulb, one to hold his penis...er ah..I mean ladder!
 

wingnutt

...recognize this?
Joined
Mar 31, 2002
Posts
1,077
Total Time
+30yrs
i hate to be the bearer of bad news but y'all have the whole "light bulb" thing all wrong...

The Dark Sucker Theory

For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise. Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers. The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light.

First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room.

So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker. The dark which has been absorbed is then transmitted by pylons along to power plants where the machinery uses fossil fuel to destroy it.

A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.

There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.

Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle.

This is easily proven for lightbulbs too. When you compress a gas, it gets hot, right? So the light bulb gets hot because of all the dark being squished into the wires.

Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.

Dark Suckers are only able to suck dark in a straight line. Dark, because of its mass, will not penetrate solid, opaque objects as it is being sucked by a Dark Sucker. When a Dark Sucker is operating, you will notice that dark that is behind a solid, opaque object does not flow through the object or around it to the Dark Sucker. Some of the dark will accumulate on the side of the object away from the Dark Sucker as the Dark Sucker attempts to pull it through the object. These residual patches of dark are often referred to as `shadows.'

Some surfaces are able to function as secondary Dark Suckers by sucking the dark from behind solid objects at an angle and then rerouting it to the primary Dark Sucker. These surfaces have a property we refer to as `reflective.'

Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.

So next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is not a light emitter but a Dark Sucker.
 

eriknorth

Well-known member
Joined
Jan 28, 2002
Posts
148
Total Time
almost
And I thought I had too much time...Oh, by the way, that kind of intake of drug usage is really gonna hurt you in the long run.:D
 

JediNein

No One Special at all
Joined
Apr 28, 2002
Posts
1,256
Total Time
53 wks
If the thread lives for a while, a new type of poster will appear.
Then more posters will be needed.
One to propose an alternate theory. This is the Alternate Theorist, AT.
Three to question the alternate theorist's parentage, therapeutic drug levels, and general intelligence as they have family or friends with LBC qualifications and fear change.
Two to ponder if the theory might be the truth.
Four or five to answer the "willfly4food" and "build MEL time" questions.
And one to question Avbug's credentials even though he was not the AT.
 
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